Desert Moon Rising

Life Coaching & Conscious Living

September 6, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Practicing Silence

Practicing Silence

Practicing Silence

Practicing silence is one of the most effective ways to reconnect with your true nature, to connect with your surroundings and to calm the mind. It is a rare gift when we allow ourselves to be silent in body and mind and one that expands our opportunity to live in the present moment. I have found nothing that can replace the fullness and richness arising from silence, but silence.

A gift – to hear and feel your own breath, to witness the ever-busy mind pausing for a rest, to feel your own pulse vibrating from within, to be still and observe all that you are – it is in this stillness, this quietness that we’re reminded of our essence and of the preciousness of life. This is what is real. This is what is true.

There are several ways to practice silence. One is to not speak any words but to continue to allow your mind it’s freedom to wander. This is not the silence of which I speak. The other is to quiet both your speech and your mind, allowing room for real quietude, moments of which are more refreshing than many a nights sleep!

 How to Practice Silence

  • To start, make a commitment to a period of time, as in 30 minutes a day for a week. Or 15 minutes a day for a month, etc.. The more you practice the easier it will get and the sooner you’ll realize the benefits.
  • Pick the same time every day if possible – after lunch for 15 minutes; when you first get into your car after your work day; just before bedtime, etc.. Consistency is the key and working a regular time slot into your schedule will allow you to have more success with your practice.
  • Make sure there are no distractions. No one vying for your attention, turn off your cell phone, radio, and all controllable sounds. In the beginning, the quieter the better although, once you understand the practice you’ll be able to find “silence” right in the middle of NYC.
  • Focus on your breath. Breathing in…..slowly, and breathing out. Breathing in and out allowing your breath to slow down. Count to five on your inhale, and five on your exhale making sure both the inhale and exhale are even.
  • Just stay focused on your breath and if your mind wanders, bring it back to your breath. Every time you notice yourself wondering what’s for dinner, or where you’re going on your next vacation, or whether or not you left the teapot on the stove, just bring your mind back to your breath…..breathing in, and breathing out.
  • Now, bring your attention to the center of your chest (located at your heart.) Breathe into this place feeling it expand and contract. Expand and contract. Notice and feel your own heartbeat. Imagine the pulse of your heartbeat expanding throughout your entire body. Let this pulse fill your entire being.
  • Practice this for your designated time and then bring your awareness back to where you are. Notice the silence that surrounds you. Notice how calm you feel. Notice how fulfilled you feel.
  • Go about your day……but silently if possible.

Practicing silence is about quieting your mind most definitely, but it is also about not always having the radio, TV or i-pod on. It is about not always speaking when what you have to say isn’t very important. It’s about cherishing the sounds of nature. It’s about being awake and alive in your own body.

Confuscius says: “Silence is a true friend who never betrays.”

I hope through practicing silence you will find this to be true.

 

The Edge of Silence

 

August 22, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Your Values. What are they and how do they apply to your everyday life?

Your Values. What are they and how do they apply to your everyday life?

Your Values. What are they and how do they apply to your everyday life?

Your values are what bring heart and meaning to your life. They are the bookends that inform your desires and your actions toward living a fulfilling and robust existence. They are also a measuring tool that let you know when things are “off-track” and offer an anchor with which to connect your choices to. Understanding what your values are about life, work, relationships and yourself will allow you to make more grounded decisions and will support you in committing to the decisions you make. Whether transitioning into a new job or out of a relationship – connecting the process to your values will bring much needed clarification and provide for a smooth and successful passage to the next stage of your life.

The values I’m speaking of here are not your ordinary “laundry list” that you might expect. These “values” are not necessarily morals or spiritual principles laid down by the 10 Commandments. The values I’m speaking of are at the core of your individual being and are what feed the joy and exuberance of your life. What lights you up? What excites from the inside out? What contributes to your sense of well-being? What is present when there is synergy in your life? What, if taken away, would leave you less than whole? Knowing the answers to these questions offers a connection between what you are wanting from your life and the actions you must take in order to have what you want. Your values may not be visible but the effect and impact of your values are. On a daily basis you are either living your values or you are not. When you are not living your values disharmony is sure to be lurking. If you are facing personal difficulties asking yourself the question, “Which of my values are not being met?” might be a good place to start in finding a meaningful solution.

How does one discover what their values are? There are several techniques to do this but without having your own professional Life Coach to guide you and for simplicity purposes, we will stick with only two. The first method is called “Peak Experience” and in this method you will describe to a friend, partner or in writing to yourself, an experience in your life where everything was essentially perfect: from the company you were with, to the clothes you were wearing, to the weather or the light of day, to the way that you were feeling. Hold nothing back in your description and notice how good it feels to revisit this satisfying place. From here pick out what qualities supported this state of well-being.

  • Was it that you were surrounded by people you love and those who love you?
  • Were you out in nature and the profound beauty of it struck something deep inside you?
  • Maybe you were lying in bed after a great nights sleep and the sun was casting a warm beam of light on your face?
  • Was it that you accomplished something really big?

Dig deeper. Pull out more from your memory bank and begin to make a list of qualities (a.k.a. values) that contributed to this sense of “rightness” in the world. Now, take those qualities and extend them even further. Say for example, nature is a value of yours – what nature means to you might be entirely different then what nature means to me. It’s important to clarify what it is about “nature” that makes it meaningful.

Example: Nature = beauty/spontaneity/perfect order/humbling/etc.

Do this extension with each of your core values. It’s a natural human instinct to be curious about ourselves so allow yourself to explore. Understanding your values on a experiential level is both rewarding and beneficial as it leads to greater clarity and expanded personal freedom.

The second method is more of a “back-door” approach to discovering your values. Here you are asked to speak to what it is that drives you crazy? What makes you most frustrated – with yourself? With others? When do you feel hurt by others and what is attributing to this? Most upsets occur because our values are not being met. These are known as Suppressed Values. Perhaps you are not being acknowledged at work for the great job you do, or you feel you’re not being “heard” by a spouse or close friend.

These point to values of:

  • A need for recognition and personal acknowledgement
  • A need to be listened to and taken seriously
  • A desire to make a meaningful contribution

These are perfectly honorable and essential values that are shared by many. Unfortunately though, these suppressed values go unrecognized so often they turn into resentment and blaming, a place where your needs will continue to go unmet. Be sure to extend these values out also.

Example: Recognition & Personal Acknowledgement = it lets me know my efforts count/connects me to others/encourages me to want to do better/it feels good/etc.

If you don’t know what your Values are and have never asked yourself these questions don’t worry, you are in good company. The fact is, the majority of people have never been through this process and live their lives without this profound personal knowledge which is immeasurably beneficial. Once you know what your Values are, your life will never be the same. Living your values will bring you increased joy and confidence in all areas of your life: it will simplify decision making as your choices will suddenly seem so obvious; it will bring a sense of freedom and relief as you finally begin to understand what it is that makes you tick; and it will add purpose and meaning to your actions because you will have built a foundation that guides and supports you in achieving greater personal fulfillment.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Readers Inquiry:

  1. What known Values are supporting you in your life?
  2. What suppressed Values can you give a voice to?
  3. How can you clarify these so they help you to make better decisions?

Your Values – the root of all behavior

 

August 21, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on The Practice of “I AM”

The Practice of “I AM”

The Practice of “I AM”

If you’re feeling scattered, overwhelmed or if life seems out-of-focus, this is a great practice for you!

At times our lives can feel disjointed and incongruent. This is something we all share and is a natural cycle of our ever-changing world. With the many roles we play and the demands on our attention from the multitude of roles we play, we sometimes forget that at the center, there is an “I” – a central force from which these roles are filled in a way that only we know how. This exercise helps us to shine a light on these many roles (I AM a sister, I AM a Mother, etc.) and invites us to sit in the seat of these roles looking at what they truly represent to us (what is it to be a sister? what does it mean to be a mother?)

By practicing this exercise several things will happen:

  • 1) You will have much greater appreciation for each individual role you fill, especially if you let the fullness of each role ripen in your mind and study it from all sides.
  • 2) You’ll be calling your scattered energies home and holding them in one central core, this will help you to feel more grounded, more whole and less fragmented.
  • 3) You’ll marvel at both the magnificence and complexity of our lives and at just how resilient, adaptable and expansive we really are!

The “How to” practice is below. This could be done in one long meditation period or over the course of a week or more. I suggest my clients do this exercise on a daily basis for at least a week but, for some of you, 30 days might bring the deep transformational results you are seeking. As with anything, the deeper you go, the bigger the results.

Enjoy!

I invite you to stand in the Center of all that is YOU!

Note: the purpose of this practice is not to boost the ego. This is a practice of love, acknowledgment and recognition of the multifaceted beings we are, and is meant to create balance in the body and mind.

How To Practice “I AM.” This practice is simple and powerful and anyone can do it. The key is not to over-think it, just let it come.

-Take out a blank sheet of paper and on the top of it write “I AM” in big bold letters.

-Begin listing all that you are! Include everything your “being” expresses and every role you play. Let your imagination soar. Don’t limit the possibilities.

It might look something like this:

  • I am a female
  • I am a daughter
  • I am a sister
  • I am a designer
  • I am funny
  • I am sassy
  • I am a loyal friend
  • I am a good listener
  • I am expressive
  • I am uptight
  • I am light
  • I am a planner
  • I am generous
  • I am a gardner
  • I am an energetic being
  • I am lazy
  • etc. etc. etc.

-The list goes on & on until you’ve exhausted all possibilities and then some. Again, don’t hold yourself back, just let it flow.

-Sit for a few moments when you think you are done and review the list, I bet there’s a few things you’ve forgotten about yourself that you’ll want to include like maybe, “I am bright” or “I am artistic,” etc.. Keep probing but not forcing.

-When you feel you are complete (even though the “I am’s” will keep coming while you’re doing the dishes, or in the shower, or driving, or otherwise going about your life) stop and take a deep long breath. Breathe in all that you are! It’s really quite amazing, isn’t it?

-Next step is to stand up and go somewhere you can speak aloud without distraction and without supervision. This exercise is for YOU and doesn’t require a review panel….whew, what a relief!

-While standing, you’ll read aloud all that you are. Use a powerful voice. Own it. Have the “I AM” be strong and solid and say it before every descriptive. Don’t’ be shy…..nobody is watching.

-While claiming all that you are, pause between each descriptive and really feel what it is to be “that”. What is it to be generous? What does that mean to you? What is it to be a female? What does that mean to you? etc.

-At the end, consider the whole all at once, contemplating what it is to be YOU?

-Breathe.

-Take notice of how much stronger you feel. How stable you feel. How “seen” and accepted you feel.

-Breathe again.

-Accept.

-Rejoice.

You are amazing!

This is a powerful practice to do with others. It is a great way to support and acknowledge people in our lives in a loving way. Witnessing each other in this process is beneficial to all involved. We get input about some qualities we may have forgotten and we get to share what we know and appreciate about each other.

This is also a powerful exercise to do in front of a mirror!

 

To Be Me!

 

 

 

August 8, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Greener Pastures, Creative Living and Longing for the Hear and Now

Greener Pastures, Creative Living and Longing for the Hear and Now

Greener Pastures, Creative Living and Longing for the Hear and Now

I’m guilty, I admit it! I’m famous for always seeking what’s around the corner, down the road, treasures yet reveled. Perhaps it is my voracious creative spirit but what’s out there longing to be discovered, seems way more interesting than what’s right here in front of me at this very moment.

This pretty much sums up the story of my life and I know this is true for many of you as well. I’m not sure what the reasons are for you but for me, it’s the sense of adventure inherent in the unknown. It’s the satisfaction of discovering, of manifesting, of making a plan and going for it! The potential of possibilities enchants me like nothing I’ve ever known. There is a dynamic energy to this kind of existence that leaves you on the edge of your seat, like a great mystery that may or may not get solved. It’s an adrenaline rush for sure and I’m guessing it’s one of the main attractions for this lifestyle I have chosen. That perhaps along with always having something interesting to talk about. But, there can also be a loneliness to this existence no one ever really discusses. A loneliness for the here and now. You see, haunting me in the back of my mind is the notion that time is not only passing, it is literally passing me by.

I have enough years on me now to see how the game is played: I have an idea, a plan or a desire and I set about bringing it to fruition. Let’s just say I’m planning a journey to a far-away and exotic land. I build the idea in my mind: “How wonderful it will be to discover a new place; to discover another world; intoxicating scents, flavors, colors, culture; to discover myself in new and unimaginable ways” and, the fantasy grows legs. It takes months but I’m focused and committed and I bring about the resources to manifest this trip (money, time off, house sitters, etc.) and off on my journey I go. Only on my journey I get sick. It’s hot, sticky, smelly and crowded! So many people in one small place. I’m enchanted but also overwhelmed. I’m also lost in the language and way out of my comfort zone. I’m awake and alive in ways I’ve never been but this is definitely not the journey I imagined! But then again, it never is. My consciousness is forever altered and I’ve returned with a few battle scars, not always sure how to talk about what is shifting way down deep and yet, after I recover, I can’t wait to go again.

What it is that has unearthed me, the depth of which I can’t often find the words to speak, is the raw presence with which I’ve allowed myself to exist in this world beyond my world. And for people who hunger for the creative life – artists, musicians, writers, travelers, business people of all kinds – this sense of being awake and alive through losing oneself in their journey, is a relatively common theme.

Understanding the processes of living a creative life is indispensable because once you know how to access this secret chamber within your mind, the opportunities to co-create with the universe become infinite. The first stage, the stage of manifesting, is where we transport ourselves from the world we live in now to a world in our imagination. We have to envision it, to feel it, to believe it before we can actually create it. This is such a magical place to be and it is the essence of human creation. Our world as we know it would not exist today if we didn’t possess the ability to “imagine.” Imagination is like liquid gold but it definitely does not exist in the “here and now.” It is otherworldly. It is beyond time and space in the same way a nighttime dream transports you to far away places without ever leaving your bed.

The second stage, living in the reality of the “here and now” is important because this is where we actually get to experience our creations. This is where we make it manifest – where we can touch it, taste it, feel it, smell it. This is where our senses are fully engaged and where we discover what it means to be alive, on this planet, having a human experience.

Whether you’re planning a long awaited journey, a celebratory event, the writing of your first novel or the business of your dreams, the process is all the same. If you’re wanting to live a more creative life these are the rules of the game. This is how you get there. You allow your imagination to flourish then you reign it in and make it real. Then, you sit back and marvel at your creation and at the great ability to bring an idea to fruition. One caveat to this process is this – it never turns out exactly as you imagined so you must leave room for the element of surprise. Let go of the outcome and be enchanted by the journey instead.

The problem for adventure seekers like myself is that we’re already onto the next creative project, the next adventure, when the one before us has barely ripened. And in this case, we miss both the fruits of our labor and the magic of our creative powers, meaning, we’re so busy chasing greener pastures we miss the here and now. We miss the bounty, the beauty and the sweet reward.

There is a question in my circle of friends that goes something like this: Is it more important to “create” or to stand and dwell in our creation? This is something we each have to decide for ourselves but I’ll tell you this much – I’ve been practicing with being in the “here and now” for years and it’s definitely a slippery concept. The allure of what’s “out there” never ceases to enchant me but I know deep inside that what I’m chasing out there, is what already exists right here. I keep lusting after creative journey’s, projects and possibilities I think will keep me awake and alive and yet I quietly realize in all my chasing, I’m missing the opportunity to be both awake and alive right now.

This thing, this life, this rhythm which exists right here, right now, in this time and space we are in, is enough. It always has been. It always will be.


Readers Inquiry:

  • In what ways are you seeking outside of yourself that which you already have? That which you already are?
  • When do you take time to be present in the “here & now” and how does it enrich you?
  • How do you know when what you have and who you are is enough?

“This moment is the moment of reality, of union, of truth. Nothing needs to be done to it or to you for this to be so. Nothing needs to be avoided, transcended, or found for it to be so.” — Da Avabhasa

August 7, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Daily Gratitude Practice

Daily Gratitude Practice

Daily Gratitude Practice

Gratitude is a sure cure for personal strife and whether our struggles are real or imagined, we can masterfully impact the quality of our experience by taking into account the things in life for which we’re most grateful. When we shift our awareness to the many blessings we enjoy, to the advantages we have, to the friendships, love and opportunities that surround us, we find there is no real need for feeling badly, or at least not as badly as we sometimes allow ourselves to feel. Our life is rarely as bad as we imagine it to be when we are in this dark and discouraging place.

Feelings of frustration, exhaustion, overwhelm, disappointment, etc., are all very real but they can also become a habit, a way of dealing with the world from an automated and learned response rather than a conscientious and mindful response.

  • We all go through cycles of feeling the world is beyond our control…..and it is!
  • We feel sometimes our efforts our futile…..and they are!
  • We fee that life disappoints us……and sometimes it does!

But the opposite is also true.

  • We feel life is generous and abundant……and it is!
  • We see the beauty all around us…….and we’re amazed!
  • We feel lucky to be alive and to be loved……and we are!

Some days, we naturally arise to a beautiful world. Other days, the whole world looks ugly. This is the human experience and one that we all share. The ability to shift our mind however from a negative place to a more positive place is the ART of deliberate creation and it’s where the quality of our experience can be magically transformed.

You have the ability to turn things around and it’s easier than you may think.

With this very easy practice everything shifts:  a dark mood suddenly eases, a sad heart turns into a smile, in the impossible we find our window of opportunity. Equally, even with a clear and positive mind at the start of our practice we find that our compassion blossoms, our generosity expands and our willingness to be of service to others becomes the defining principle of our day.

You get to decide which way you want your day to go but it’s good to have cultivated the tools just in case you want to use them. It’s entirely up to you. Five minutes in the morning can make a huge difference throughout your day.

That’s only 5 Minutes! You deserve that much!

How to practice:

  • Sit quietly in a room where there are few to zero distractions.
  • Turn off your radio, computer, noisemakers of all kinds.
  • Breathe. Take 10 deep long breaths – inhaling slowly and exhaling at the same pace.
  • Let your mind clear of any busy-ness……just for now you can let it go.
  • Bring your awareness into your heart. Take five more breaths focusing on your heart center.
  • Recount the things for which you are most Grateful! (i.e. I am alive. I have a roof over my head. I have someone who loves me. I am not alone. I have friends. I am resourceful. I love my cat/dog, etc. they bring me so much joy! I love the beauty in nature. I love jumping in the river. I love my mother, father, husband, wife, children, etc., I am so lucky because?. The gifts I bring to others is? My special talents are? etc.)
  • Let these things for which you are grateful reside in your heart. Let them linger before you go on to the next one. Feel them. Notice and delight in this feeling. Allow yourself to experience it!
  • At the end of your list, when you are through, notice the shift in your attitude, your mindset, your essence.
  • Thank yourself for taking the time to shift your reality on a deep level and for making the quality of your day important.

Enjoy the benefits!

That’s it! So easy and so meaningful. You can take five minutes or 30 minutes depending on your schedule but however long, a shift will definitely occur. It’s all in the intention.

 

What are you Grateful for?