Desert Moon Rising

Life Coaching & Conscious Living

July 26, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on “Happiness in Minimum against Un-happiness in Maximum”

“Happiness in Minimum against Un-happiness in Maximum”

“Happiness in Minimum against Un-happiness in Maximum”

This is a quote I’ve been contemplating a lot lately. It is also a quote I’ve been working with over the past six months as my partner and I are put the finishing touches on our fourth documentary film, The Benares of James Prinsep. This is a film about an obscure Englishman who lands in India in 1819 at the age of 20 and is enchanted by the deeply joyous and exotic nature of the Indian people – their philosophy, their spirituality, their customs and in addition, he’s enchanted by the city of Benares, the holy city on the river, the city we know today as Varanasi. In short, James Prinseps’ genius blossoms in Benares and in turn he ends up uncovering an important part of Indian history that lay dormant for centuries. He made seminal contributions in the sciences, arts, humanities, architecture, literature and more, and all of this in a matter of 19 years as he returned to England during his final days and died at the young age of 40. This is truly an inspiring story and one that has a universal and timeless message.

Varanasi is one of the oldest inhabited cities on earth. Depending on who you ask and where you’re doing your research, it approximates somewhere between 6000-10,000 years and, it looks it! In fact, Mark Twain put it perfectly when he said” “Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend and looks twice as old as all of them put together”. So, when as Westerner’s we visit Varanasi and see people living as way they do, living with so little, experiencing “happiness in minimum” yet living deeply meaningful lives, we are confused.

Here we are, we have everything we could ask for and more! Luxurious homes (maybe even more than one), abundant food, enough furniture to supply four families, enough clothes to outfit 100 people, gadgets galore and yet, as a whole, as a society, I don’t think the world would look at us and say that we were “happy.” What we have in other words, is the opposite experience of those living in Varanasi, that of “unhappiness in maximum.” More is better right? More of everything should make us happy right? “If only I had (fill in the blank) –  more money, a better job, a shinier car, a bigger house, more friends, and every Apple gadget ever made, I’d be happy!” Right?

It is no wonder we are confused.

In the film there is a man by the name of Dr. Mehta whom we’ve interviewed. Dr. Metha is about 93 years old. He is a Dr. of medicine and has written over 150 books on subjects ranging from medicine to philosophy to science fiction. In short, he is no lightweight when it comes to discussing spirituality, philosophy and the meaning of life. He was also born in Varanasi, the city of three names – Kashi, Benares, Varanasi – and gives a beautiful perspective on the very complex workings of a place that as Westerner’s, we have a tendency to misunderstand. It is Dr. Metha that expounds on, “happiness in minimum against unhappiness in maximum” when in the film, he describes the sad turn our world and our species has taken. And, every time I read and hear these words as we’re doing final edits to the film, the truth of it pierces me like an arrow through my heart.

It is an undeniable truth that we can no longer ignore. More is not better. More does not bring happiness. America is the epicenter of a society that uses things up and tosses them away – perfectly good things, things that no longer interest us, just things. Things we have way too many of already and things we still insist on buying to fill the emptiness in our hearts, to fill the hole reserved for happiness we know not yet how to have.  One only has to open their eyes to see the plethora of wasted things across the landscape of our country – in trash heaps, recycling centers, thrift shops, junk shops and storage units ad nauseam on the outskirts of every city and town. What, I wonder, will happen to all of these things 500-1000 years from now? Will the earth swallow them whole like bubble gum? And how many years will it take to digest?

We can see clearly the problem – it’s not actually the “things” themselves that is the problem but our endless desire for the things and the misappropriated emotions we give to them. Things in themselves are neither here nor there – they just are.

What we need to work on then, what we need to give our most ardent time, energy and resources to, is the solution. The bigger, deeper, more probing question is this –  outside of our endless desire for things, including the desire for things to be somehow different then they are, more magnificent in some way – where do we find our happiness?

These are the questions I want to leave you with because rather than spending your time making yet another list of goals that fail to satisfy you in some way, perhaps you might spend time looking at the larger picture first and probing more deeply into the true meaning of your life.

No short order I know but, a necessary one!

Readers Inquiry:

Where do you find your happiness outside of your endless desires? As you get older and begin doing your “life review,” what will have mattered most? What will have made your life worth living?

July 25, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Love after Love – a Poem

Love after Love – a Poem

Love after Love

The time will come

when, with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror,

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

 

–Derek Wallcott

 

July 25, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on The Benefits of Sleeping Outdoors

The Benefits of Sleeping Outdoors

The Benefits of Sleeping Outdoors

There’s just nothing that connects us more to nature and to the primal part of ourselves’ than sleeping outdoors. If you sleep in the open air as opposed to a tent, you can stare at the night sky for hours contemplating the magnitude of your existence, watching for shooting stars and identifying the many constellations. Watching, listening and being a part of nature closing down for the night is such a magical thing, sounds of nature drifting ever so slowly into a beautiful yet brief solitude until the creatures of the night make their move. Think coyotes, owls, cicadas and fireflies, and although as far as I know fireflies don’t make any sound, they certainly make sleeping outside more interesting.

Eventually, everything becomes still as if the entire world is sleeping at once and hopefully, you are too. Then, you are gracefully awakened by the first sounds of dawn, a crow, a woodpecker, a bluebird signing their morning song. You awake to a freshness, a morning dew, the smell of wet grass, the smell of new life, the start of a new day. Again, it is magical! It feels so right and natural as if this is the way it was meant to be, a shared e understanding with all existence that everything, and everyone, deserves and needs a chance to rest. Yet we have cultivated this out of our existence, we’ve moved away from nature and into our protective and poshed-out dens separating ourselves even further from the truth of all that is.

It is summer and a wonderful time to sleep outdoors! Drag out your futon, your sleeping bag, your blow up mattress and reacquaint yourself with that from which you’ve come. Become an explorer of your past and a discoverer of your future. Nestle yourself into the bosom of Mother Earth and connect with all that is. Let go. Trust. Breathe it all in – the sights, the sounds, the smells, the deep sense of belonging, and allow yourself to come home to the nature within you!

**An alternative to sleeping outside the entire night (as it IS summer and in some parts of the world that means nothing but mosquitos feasting on warm and quiet flesh) is to rise extra early and sneak outside just before dawn. Allow your final “waking up” to happen outside and soak in the newness of the day. To make this work effectively though, it’s best if you have your outdoor bedding already set up.

Sweet Dreams!

 

Sleeping in the Great Outdoors

 

July 10, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Travel with a Capital “P” – Gaining Fresh Perspective

Travel with a Capital “P” – Gaining Fresh Perspective

Travel with a Capital “P” – Gaining Fresh Perspective

I’ve been traveling over the past 4 weeks on one of those “larger than life” journeys that changes the way we do and see things. Not just a weekend away or a trip to see family in Texas, North Carolina or Louisiana but rather, a long, dreamed-up trip of my own making. It was a trip to celebrate my 50th birthday, albeit a few months early, and I chose to go to two places that have intrigued me for a very long time – Amsterdam and Croatia.

Amsterdam because of its’ charming canals, beautiful old buildings and the Van Gogh museum of course but mainly, because of the flowers! I have this special thing for flowers and have for as long as I can remember. They just make me happy down to my roots and because of this, I have spent 25 years working with flowers on a professional level – event design, floral design, weddings, gardening, etc.. When I’m not coaching people I’m often working with flowers and I just can’t express enough my deep appreciation of working with mother nature so closely. She never disappoints me or bores me and she always delivers some deep insight or satisfaction or surprise. Her beauty is limitless and well, I have a passion what can I say? Therefore Amsterdam, for it’s tulip fields and Keukenhof Gardens, where they plant over seven million bulbs for a glorious flower wonderland that would make any gardener shrill with delight. Yes, I was in heaven!

Croatia because of it’s closed-world intrigue and it’s abundant sea life. Although a jonny-come-lately on the tourist map (after the breakup of Yugoslavia in the early 90’s) Croatia has become a fast rising tourist hot-spot of epic proportions and after visiting there, I can certainly see why. It’s drop dead gorgeous with it’s mediterranean climate and its’ centuries old fortified cities spilling into the Adriatic sea. White stone villages with red tile roofs descending from mountain ranges and hillsides into bustling yacht harbors amidst the pure crystal clear waters of the sea, I mean honestly, how could anyone go wrong? It was visually and experientially stunning. Picturesque beyond imagination, delicious food, charming and gracious people, home to over 1000 islands that make up the Dalmatian Coast and compared to the rest of Europe, it is still affordable and about the same cost of being here at home, in Northern California. We took an intimate seven day cruise on one of the classic boats that navigate those waters, a Gullet, and had the time of our lives. We had 12 passengers on our boat, which had eight cabins and four crew members, as we motored and sailed from charming port to deserted island to charming port. Breakfast and lunch on-board, dinner on our own – usually harbor side at one of the local seafood restaurants or pizzeria’s. If I had only one word to describe Croatia it would be “magical!” You’ve gotta go!

This article however isn’t about my trip per se but rather about the perspective (Capital “P”) that comes from being out of our comfort zone and away from our routine.

There is nothing like being in a foreign place to bring out the best (and sometimes the worst) in people. Traveling requires a huge effort and an enormous amount of work no matter where you’re going or how long your stay. There is the planning, the anticipation, preparing your home or office for the time you’ll be away, packing, getting through the airports, customs, navigating a new city and possibly, a new language. It’s tough no doubt in fact in my circle we tease that traveling is a “contact sport” and if you saw all the bruises and broken limbs and deer-in-the-headlights look of fellow travelers and felt the bone-deep tiredness in your own body, I think you’d understand why.

But, after all this twisting and turning and uncomfortableness and compliancy, you get spat out on the other end and something magical happens, or can if you let it….you get inspired! At least for me that is what happens and it’s such a big giant dose of inspiration I can hardly contain it or speak about it or even know what to do with it. I take notes, I write, I have my camera at the ready. I dream and skip and laugh with ease like a child seeing a sunlit field of daffodils for the very first time and, I let the energy pulsating in my veins have it’s day. I see possibilities that before seemed impossible. I invent, create, solve and build. I am desperately tired and raw and elated and there is no end to the open doorways of my imagination. This my friends, is Perspective with a capital “P!” And to me, this is worth it’s weight in gold or Euro or Kuna or Yen.

The Perspective gained from traveling is rich, priceless and liberating beyond compare. It rattles you at your roots and breaks you from the chains of routine thinking, routine living. It unearths those stuck places, all the ways you think life “should be”, and moves you into a place of wonder and limitless creativity where everything seems and feels completely possible….and it is.

You don’t have to go on an epic adventure to gain this kind of perspective either. Sometimes a weekend away in a land you already know is exactly what is called for. The main trick to gaining this perspective is to look for it, to allow it. We just have to get out of our own way, close one door and open another, become a discoverer in everyday life and fresh Perspective is already there. It’s just waiting for us to show up….and also to let go.

Travel inspires me to endeavor to change the world, to connect, to help on a global scale. It encourages me to see beyond my own small existence, to acknowledge and welcome and even be charmed by the differences of humanity.

To delight in the wonders of this great world is a wonderful gift!  And it’s a gift I recommend you give to yourself as often as you can, and as soon as possible.

Happy travels!

Reader’s Inquiry:

1) What areas in your life would benefit from a new perspective?

2) What ways can you gain new perspective without having to travel to the other side of the earth?

(Please feel free to answer these questions in the comment section at the bottom of this post.)

 

Keukenhof Gardens - Amsterdam

 

Dubrovnik - Croatia

July 9, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on What You See, is What You Get!

What You See, is What You Get!

What You See, is What You Get!

We’ve all heard this expression before. Usually on the grade school playground, in high school or in the flirtation stages of our young relationships. In general it means, “I am who I am”; “This is how I come”; “Take it or leave it”; and it’s used when someone is wanting us to be something other than what we are. It’s a handy expression and one that I use, light heartily of course, even today. In this months column however, I’m going to discuss another aspect of this expression, one of a more literal nature…….that of, “what you see (or perceive) is indeed, what you will get.”

When used in the conventional method the meaning implies that one is not willing to change. In essence, “this is who I am and this is who I will always be,” but remember, this expression is used when we are young and don’t yet understand the importance or the necessity of change. In the more literal translation the need to change proves inevitable.

“What we see, is what we get,” indeed! What we see when we look out into the world is the sum total of our experiences. It’s a combination of our conditioning, our environment, our families’ traditions, our education, our belief system, our emotional well being, our open-mindedness  and our own unique twist or character that makes us who we are (and believe me, this last part accounts for a lot!)

When learning to make sense of our world it is only natural that we take on the views and causes of our parents. My parents were Republicans so I too became a Republican. This was way back when, when being a Republican had a purpose, when it stood for less government and more autonomy yet also believed in helping those who were unable to help themselves. With time and experience my views have changed. I’ve adopted my own views and affiliations with parities that are more in concert with who I am today. My parents were also loving, friendly and compassionate toward others’ in the community. So, I too adopted these traits and found them valuable enough over the years to keep them as my own. When growing up, our parents (teachers, mentors) are our guides, our compass, the tribe that keeps us on track……or not, depending on their views. Our parents views might also teach us to become prejudice, or selfish, or afraid, or greedy, or jealous, or small somehow in our thinking and our being. I’m sure we’ve all heard the story of a parent who didn’t want their child going to college because they themselves never went to college and after all “they came out just fine, didn’t they?” Our families values or views can be a real asset to our growth and success or sadly, it can be a hindrance. Hopefully, we grow up surrounded by a variety of experiences that we start to take on views of our own. We begin to develop our own interpretations of the world around us and either mesh them with the views we already have, or override those views altogether.

This process of refining our views makes up our perception of the world and thus, defines the type of experiences we will have within the course of our lives. It’s kind of an interesting equation when you look at it from this angle – our young experiences (and upbringing) defines who we are up to a certain point; we refine those views through our own individual experiences as we grow; then those experiences, and our interpretation of those experiences, create the reality that we experience……..make sense?

Maybe this will help to clarify: Perception is Reality!

What we perceive is what becomes our reality. If we perceive the world to be a scary and unforgiving place, then this is what it is, to us! If we perceive the world to be a generous,  loving and safe place, then this is what it is, to us! If we perceive opportunity and inspiration and possibility and abundance, the world becomes our playground. If we perceive scarcity, lack, disorder or dis-ease and the sense that we are powerless, the world becomes our prison.

In a nutshell, our views become our experiences, which satisfy our views, which become our reality. If you don’t like the experiences you’re having than it’s time to change your views. The great news is that you can change your views at anytime. There is no restriction, no rules, no quotas. If you don’t like where you’re at, it’s time to change the way your interpreting the world around you. Instead of thinking there “isn’t enough” for example, start recognizing all there is. Start recognizing that you actually have all the food you need, the clothes you need and the shelter you need to stay safe, dry and warm. Recognize that you are just fine in fact (more equipped than most people on this planet) and could live a long and happy life with everything that you currently have right now. Gratitude is one sure cure for lack.

If you feel you “lack opportunity”, take time to recognize all the freedoms you have. You can practice whatever religion you want or wear whatever crazy outfit you want. You can choose from infinite possibilities at the grocery store and create an award winning masterpiece in the kitchen. You can learn a new language, go back to school and travel the world with relative ease. Opportunity is everywhere it just might not look the way you thought it would. In doing this exercise I’m sure you’ll come to realize that opportunity isn’t what’s lacking. Ingenuity, creativity or motivation could possibly be the root of your issue. Most people carry with them restrictive views that are long outdated and unproductive and more often than not, once identified, there is no rationalization for holding onto them.

What you see is what you get! You can color your reality however you see fit. You just need a wiliness to change and a box of Crayola crayons. Learn to think outside of your own conditioned mind and watch the world step up to meet you.

“Our Life is the Creation of our Mind”……..Buddha