Desert Moon Rising

Life Coaching & Conscious Living

June 18, 2013
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on The Lover of Earth Cannot Help Herself

The Lover of Earth Cannot Help Herself

The Lover of Earth Cannot Help Herself

In summer,
through the fields
of wild mustard,
then goldenrod,

I walk, brushing
the wicks
of their bodies
and the bright hair

of their heads –
and in fact
I lie down
that the little weightless pieces of gold

may floor over me,
shining in the air,
falling in my hair,
touching my face –

ah, sweet-smelling
glossy and
colorful world,
I say,

even as I begin
to feel
my left eye then the right
begin to burn

and twitch
and grow very large –
even as I begin,
to weep,

to sneeze
in this irrepressible
seizure
of summerlove.

a poem by Mary Oliver

Summerlove! 

June 18, 2013
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Big Change/Small Steps: Easing the Growing Pains

Big Change/Small Steps: Easing the Growing Pains

Big Change/Small Steps: Easing the Growing Pains

How do you take something incredibly challenging, and make it easy?

Change: it surrounds us in all directions. We couldn’t escape it if we tried. There are small changes and BIG changes but invariably, there are also “uncomfortable” changes. A little change over time we can live with. Things like having to get a new car, aging, or not being able to take that vacation, are all generally psychologically manageable. BIG changes on the other hand, like having to uproot ourselves and our families in order to find work; losing our jobs, our homes, or both; and losing a loved one; are not so easy to overcome and can create great burdens on our psychological well-being.

So, how can we best navigate through these BIG changes while keeping our health, balance and well being in tact? And what can we do to move easily through the changes that “we never imagined would happen to us?”

Last month I wrote about the inevitability of change on a grand scale. I focused on the changes that are before us now and on even bigger changes that may be required of us in the future. This month and next, I will continue the series on change and will focus on how to integrate and manage change on a personal level, beginning at home; beginning with you.

So, just how do you ease the pains of BIG change? You get really good at dealing with “small change”.

You become an expert at it, in fact. You become a Doctor of Small Change. Consider this your new title and wear it proudly because once you get good at this, you deserve to brag about it. Ever notice how when you’ve mastered something it becomes second nature? Usually you can no longer even speak the common language around the subject because you know it so well. Embracing change could be like this….just a blip on the radar of your journey through life.

Change can be a source of great suffering but it doesn’t have to be. Change is also exciting evidence of the fact that you’re alive! Change provides a wonderful opportunity to grow, to expand and to see yourself in new and promising ways. Imagine if things never changed. How boring would that be?

Becoming an expert at small change is easy. Her are a few suggestions:

1) Take all the routines you practice on a daily basis and do them differently. If you drink coffee, drink tea. If you always make your bed, this month, skip it. If you always go to the gym in the morning, go for a walk or sit in a cafe instead. If you always take the same route to work, choose another. If you always put your yoga mat in the exact same space up front, move to the back of the class!

The purpose here is to help break the patterns that define your life and to realize these “routines” you cling to, are merely manifestations of your mind. What once was designed to help organize your time has perhaps now become a ball and chain of your own making. It will not be the end of the world if the dishes aren’t washed tonight, I assure you.

2) Clean out closets and drawers and get rid of everything you don’t use or need. There is no better “fix” than letting go of things you don’t need – or even don’t like for that matter. All of this stuff is just dead weight hanging around your house anyway. Clean out, move things around, organize in new ways. Clean out all your old paperwork too. Create space for new energy to emerge. If your closets and homes are overflowing with stuff you don’t like or need, you’re blocking the way for new creative energy to enter your life. Let it ALL go. Be liberated from your attachments.

These are just two suggestions to start you in the right direction. They may seem simple, but I assure you they are effective. Work on these two exercises for at least a month. Stick to the challenge and give yourself the chance to be successful. Begin to notice how you yourself are changing as you make these small changes in your daily life. Do you feel more energized? Lighter? Spontaneous? Free? You will, and you will love it!

We have the freedom in our lives to choose how we react to the world around us. By embracing change in small ways and by inviting change into our lives rather than waiting for it to happen, we empower ourselves with the confidence and “know-how” to overcome bigger changes when they do come our way. Imagine facing BIG changes with a feeling of liberation and opportunity. One day, you could!

Bend like a willow to the river of life. Jump in feet first and unabashedly learn to go with the flow.

Change Happens – Embrace it!

June 5, 2013
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on What Is Life Coaching and What Can It Do For Me?

What Is Life Coaching and What Can It Do For Me?

What Is Life Coaching and What Can It Do For Me?

This is the fundamental question, right?

Since so many people have been inquiring, I thought I’d offer a clear and simple “cheat sheet” so you will have the information you need to progress.

Life Coaching Is: Life Coaching is a way of bringing your deepest wants and needs to fruition. The process of Coaching helps you to discover your authentic self and to bring that true self into everything you do. By discovering your core values, by getting clear on what it is you want to accomplish, change or refine in your life, by setting intentional and clear definable steps, and by being held accountable, you will most definitely achieve your aim!

For most people, Coaching is way for them to know and understand themselves in a whole new way. Most people say, “I just wish I had done this 20 Years ago, I finally feel like I’m in charge of my own life!” It’s funny how much of our life is dictated by conditioning, expectation and pre-determined roles. Coaching helps to bust through all of this and set you on a trajectory that is soul-filled and rich with depth and meaning.

What Will Coaching Do For ME? Coaching will help you to:

  • Clearly define what it is you say you want, and will unquestionably connect it to the WHY?
  • Discover your Core Values -they run your life….even though you’re may not be aware of them.
  • See the Bigger Picture and your place in it.
  • Find meaning and connection in everyday life.
  • Discover your higher potential and inspire you to reach for this.
  • Establish a plan of action and how to hold yourself accountable.
  • Let Go of outdated beliefs and stories that were never yours to begin with.
  • Laugh more, dance more, and care more……but about the things that really matter to you, not the things that don’t.
  • Develop trust in your intuition.
  • Let go of struggle!
  • Find your Joy!
  • Awaken your consciousness to a deeper purpose and existence.
  • Love who YOU are!
  • Inspire you to help others.

People Use Coaching For:

  • Accomplishing a long held dream like: starting a business, writing a book, changing careers or finding a spiritual practice that works for them.
  • Simplifying their Life. Finding Balance and greater meaning. For many, everyday life is so busy they become numb and desensitized to their happiness. They become task-masters. And although they may have accomplished a great deal, they are run more by busy-ness and the need to “get stuff done” rather then by their heart.
  • Discovering who they are Now…..many people have had kids, career, several marriages, etc. and in the process have lost connection to who they really are. They wake up one day at 40, 50 or 60 and don’t really know what’s important to them anymore.
  • Change of Life transition. Moving from a career to retirement. Or career to humanitarian. Or stay-at-home mom to a career. Or career to college student. etc. Our lives are full of transition and we can make the most of them by having someone help guide us through the process.
  • Strengthening their current talents and planning for the future. Many people know where they want to be in 10 years but aren’t sure how to get there. What are their intelligent assists? What skills and talents do they want to hone? What do they have to do now, to get to where they want to be then?
  • Priority realignment: What is it you say you want? What do you have to let go of in order to get there? What do you have to say Yes to? What do you have to say No to?
  • Make however many years they have left, really count!

How I Work: In my Coaching practice I work with people from the inside, out. In essence, I work with your truth first, your accomplishments second. My years of experience (both in life and in coaching) have taught me that what people most deeply want is to: 1) connect with their true self – to know, honor and love, who they are….from their own  understanding, not from anyone telling them. And 2) to share or give back to the world, this part of themselves. It is from this place of self knowledge, acceptance and sharing, that all other actions and accomplishments will be truly meaningful and fulfilling to you. It is from the inside out, that we find our joy!

 

Life Coaching helps you find what you seek!

 

 

June 5, 2013
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Big Change, Small Steps

Big Change, Small Steps

Big Change, Small Steps

Change Happens! In fact, it’s one of the few things we can count on. Everything is in constant flux and although we like to pretend otherwise with our steadfast routines, just look around and you will see it is undeniably true. Seasons change, kids grow up, friends grow old, as do we, and everything about us (hair, skin, minds) and the world around us (nature, technology, life, death) are always and forever in a state of transformation.

Most of these changes are beyond our control and will occur regardless of how we feel about it. The “Big Change”  I refer to however, has everything to do with our behavior and arises more from a series of small, progressive steps, than  one giant, eyes squeezed tight, mindless leap.

The big change most of us are facing right now is to learn how to foster a more caring, realistic and simple life. To grow a life as if from seed, filled with meaning not materialism, rich with humanitarianism not hatred, fluid with acceptance not absolutism.

We are faced with this incredible opportunity to put our current direction on pause – to regroup, reevaluate and re-prioritize our journey. Where are we going anyway? Do we even know? When’s the last time we checked? The opportunity before us is enormous. It probably only presents itself once in a century – maybe only once in a millennia. The opportunity that I speak of is not about “you & me,” (well, it is and it isn’t) but what it’s really about, is “us”, all of us, the entire global population, and in fact, our civilization.

This pause, or forced restructuring of economies, is causing everyone to rethink their lives. Some people in the not so far corners of the world are worrying about their survival and whether or not their skill in the rice fields will be transferable to road repair – or any job at all really, as long as they can eat. Sometimes, their only goal in any given day is to eat! Others are rethinking their 401K’s and whether or not they can buy that new car, take that hard-earned vacation, or maybe even one day, retire. Some are even rethinking whether or not they can hold onto that second or third home they have…..you know, the one they go to once or twice a year?

Yes, I am painting a picture of great economic disparity because after all, that is the point. All of this disparity, this suffering, this separation of classes and races, this elitism, materialism, Nationalism – all these “isms” are the point. Is this what we are wanting? Is this how we care for our human race? Are we better than them? Are they better than us? Are their economies so tied to our inane and superfluous behaviors that when we fall they fall too? What are we doing? Is it good? Have we checked? And if not, how do we change? How do we slow the momentum of decades of decadence? And how do we begin to shift our behavior from desperation and fear to generosity and equanimity? How and when do we realize that we have – enough?

We stop. We pause. We feel! We reevaluate and redirect. We watch, we ask questions, and we listen. We lay a well crafted plan. We exercise sound and caring judgment. We “intend” with all our heart. We ask for guidance. We pray. And then, we gracefully and assuredly move into our new lives one small step at a time.

“Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need. ”  —Kahlil Gibran

Note: My next several blog posts will focus on “Big Change through Small Steps”. We will begin with You:  your home, your job, your behavior, your choices, then we will expand outward into the community and beyond. Please join me for this insightful and progressive journey, won’t you?

 

Big Change, Small Steps

 

 

May 22, 2013
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Eight Steps to Finding Your JOY!

Eight Steps to Finding Your JOY!

Eight Steps to Finding Your JOY!

Readers Inquiry: Chronic Stress or Ultimate Joy?

In my previous post I wrote about the importance of living life more joyfully. About choosing how you want to live, at what pace and with what purpose, and about making necessary changes to allow that to happen. In essence, how to let go of chronic stress and embrace ultimate Joy. In this post I offer a guideline on how to get started in that direction.

Enjoy!

Eight Steps to Finding Your JOY!

1) Heart to Heart: the first thing to do is to sit quietly with yourself and have a heart to heart conversation. It might go something like this: Am I truly happy with my life as I am living it now? Am I happy now or is it something I’m saving up for the future? Is my happiness out there waiting for me on some distant horizon? What activities or commitments bring me the greatest Joy? What activities or commitments cause me the most stress? How can I find better balance between the two?

2) If I could design my life anyway I chose, it would look like? What? Really think about this. Would you actually work 5 or 6 days a week by your own choosing? Would you make all the same commitments and choices you are living with today? What time of day would your workday start? What would you do in the mornings if you had more time? What would you do differently? Even if you do enjoy the work you do, do you find yourself working too much? Are other areas of your life begin sacrificed?

Dreaming is the precursor to potential and reality so by all means, dream away!

3) Of the life you “would” choose for yourself if you could, what can you do now to head in that direction? Can you go into work a little late? Can you drop a day and work only 4 days instead of 5? Yes, of course there will be a price to pay but where there is a price, there is a gain. The question to ask here is this, “what will bring me the most joy?” And then act on that. You’ll never know unless you ask so start planting seeds for future possibility.

4) Of the things in life you enjoy, how much time do you spend engaged in these activities? Two hours a day? One afternoon a week? Less? How can you rearrange your priorities to tip the scales in your favor?

5) Make the commitment! You get to choose how you want to spend your time and with whom. Everything we do, everything we have, is based on a choice we made at another time. If you don’t like where you are right now, make another choice. Make a healthier choice. Make a better choice. This is not to say you should walk away from your responsibilities. This is to say however that you can choose to do things differently. You can choose to get help. You can choose to live with less. You can choose to lighten up and have more fun. All these things are your choice.

6) Guilt and Joy are not of the same world. People so often feel guilty about being happy. “Who do I think I am” they might say as if there is some crime in living a happy life. Truth is happiness spreads and so, by YOU being happy, it allows others to be happy too!

7) Break free from conventional thinking. Other people might not understand your choices….your choices might not be the norm. You might decide working your whole life for money just isn’t your priority and you’d rather live more simply and have a lot more time on your hands to do the things you love! That’s great! Kudos to you! We all must follow our own heart and let others’ follow theirs. Only this will bring us true happiness.

8) Take one small step. Just do one thing in your favor that will increase the joy in your day…in this very day, right now. And then, do the same tomorrow. Just take it one step at a time.

The health benefits of Joy far outweigh those of chronic stress! You get the picture.

It’s your life, choose accordingly.

Below is a great video of a young women who did just that. It’s really inspiring….she’s so sweet!

A Live-aboard life. Choosing Joy!