Desert Moon Rising

Life Coaching & Conscious Living

January 2, 2013
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Getting the Support You Need

Getting the Support You Need

Getting the Support You Need

I feel so blessed! I have recently found a spiritual and emotional guide that is a real heavyweight. I know and trust implicitly that whatever I bring to the table, she is skilled at helping me work through. I can lean into her wisdom, let go into her objectivity and soften into the loving truth that she brings out in me. I believe her when she say’s “truth is her highest calling” and I feel her strength and devotion at helping others discover what “truth” is for them. She is merciless in this effort and her blatant honesty is refreshing and bold. It challenges me and stretches me and shines a light into the dark hidden corners of my past. And, in my work with her, I feel alive and real and seen and heard……yes of course by her, but mostly by myself!

I have spent many transformative years of my life experimenting with different forms of healing modalities including:  therapy, breath work, meditation, yoga, coaching, hypnotherapy, acupuncture, cranial sacral work, clairvoyance and other age old practices of various forms and I just have to say, without a skillful guide, without someone to help us navigate and move through our “stuff”, we can so easily become stagnant,  fall back into our well worn grooves, and remain closed off from our own personal magnificence.

Life is change and true to life, our need, desire or call for personal growth changes too. At times life can be so challenging we have no option but to do whatever it takes to get out of our own way. It’s crucial to discover how our conditioned behaviors (i.e. pride, ego, stubbornness, etc.) sabotage our goals and deliver us right into the seat of pain, suffering and confusion. At other times, employing skills we’ve learned, life seems to be going along pretty well and the call for deep personal transformation tapers off. And if you’re like me, if you feel your way through the world, if you have mind/body awareness and are conscious of your interactive role with everything around you, this is the dance you’ll dance throughout your life. Ebbing and flowing to the sound of the call within – “stretch this way, now that; bend here, now there; look under this rock, now that one” – and to answer this call is not only courageous, it is the true honoring of the divine. It is why we are here.

At one point in my life I was naive enough to think that if I just got through this one problem, or over this one hurdle, or through this deep pain, I’d have it all figured out and it would be smooth sailing from there on out. But of course, how silly! Instead, the complete opposite is true. What I’ve come to learn and embrace over the years is that we are very complex beings and as soon as one layer is peeled back, a vulnerability revealed, a wound healed, another layer stands in it’s place. Layers upon layers just waiting for our attention. Waiting to be acknowledged, purged or realigned. The truth of the matter is, the learning never ends!

We are organic beings forever changing and while our protective layers need peeling, we are continually growing and adding to the complexity of our nature. In the same way no single experience can be repeated twice due to the multitude of factors involved and the unpredictable nature of these factors, we too are never the same from one day to the next, one year to the next, or even one moment to the next. Our true nature may remain the same but our experience with the world around us and our interpretation of that world is forever in a state of flux.

Due to the continual development of our beings, it’s ever more important to have the assistance of a  professional coach or guide if you’re wanting to embrace fully the life you have been given. With help and willingness on your part, you have the chance to maximize your meaning, joy and sense of purpose during whatever time you have left. It is never too late to approach this deep spiritual work but for your own benefit, the sooner the better.

Questions that come to my own mind when deciding if it’s a good time for assistance are this:

  1.  Am I applying old strategies to new problems?
  2. Are my old patterns coming back to haunt me?
  3. Am I being reactive to life rather than intentionally contouring it?
  4. What things do I need to accept and move on?
  5. What changes am I going through now that could use some new perspective?
  6. How have my priorities changed over time?
  7. What truths are before me that I’m unskilled at facing on my own?
  8. Where is my resistance showing up?
  9. What skills or assets of mine do I want to polish at this stage in my life?
  10. Do I like who I’ve become and/or do I like who I’m becoming?
  11. How do I want to spend the next 10 years of my life?

These are all large and important questions to be asking and if you’re awake and alive and over 40, you probably should be asking them!

If you’re looking for guidance and aren’t already working with someone you love, call me. In my Coaching work I help people to enhance and enrich their lives and to answer questions such as these. I work with people in the way my own coach works with me – through truth, honesty and compassion, only, I can’t really be this person for myself. Whatever the case, I encourage you to reach out and get the guidance you need. It will invigorate your entire being and help to keep your joyful light shining bright!

“True Morality consists not in following the well-beaten track, but in finding out the true path for ourselves and in fearlessly following it.” —Mahatma Gandhi

 

Get the Support You Need!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

December 6, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Take the Happiness Challenge

Take the Happiness Challenge

Take the Happiness Challenge

In the Kingdom of Bhutan, a small Buddhist country located at the eastern end of the Himalayas, they measure their Country’s success by Gross National Happiness. It’s not Gross National Product or wealth of it’s Nation, but happiness.

The Bhutanese grounding in Buddhist ideals suggests that beneficial development of human society takes place when material and spiritual development occur side by side to complement and reinforce each other. The four pillars of GNH are the promotion of sustainable development, preservation and promotion of cultural values, conservation of the natural environment, and establishment of good governance.

Beyond these four main pillars of happiness, researchers at the Center for Bhutan Studies took it a step further and with greater specificity defining the eight general contributors to happiness—physical, mental and spiritual health; time-balance; social and community vitality; cultural vitality; education; living standards; good governance; and ecological vitality.

My challenge to you is this:

1) Reflect upon where you are in your own measurement of GNH.

  • Do you have balance in these four main pillars of Happiness?
  • Do you have a spiritual practice?
  • Do you live your life in a sustainable way?
  • Have you developed strong cultural values and do you adhere to them?
  • Do you help to preserve the natural environment?
  • Do you even get out into nature and notice her beauty?
  • And do you have good personal governance and by this I mean, do you meet your commitments? Do you take responsibility for what is yours? Do you do your share in building good community? Are you self-governed in a balanced way?

And, if you’d like to take it a step further, look at your life based on the eight general contributors, not just the four main pillars.

2) After reflecting on your own personal GNH, notice what you already have handled and where you need improvement. For example, maybe you’re really good at being self governed but you could do more to preserve the natural environment…even if it’s a commitment to spend more time in nature or by cultivating a butterfly garden.

3) Make a plan to improve on the areas that are weak. Take on the challenge of picking at least one area where you could do better and dedicate some good time and energy toward improving it. Maybe your spiritual practice needs strengthening? Maybe you could do better at recycling and not buying things with so much packaging, reducing your overall waste.

4) Take the happiness you do have and give it others. While out in the world, make a point of trying to ease the stresses of everyday life and see just how much happiness you can spread. If someone is having a bad day, ask how you can ease their burden; offer to carry someones bags; open their door; offer a kind word; smile! Smiling goes such a long way and it’s so easy to do!

Warning: you are in danger of having increased happiness by taking on this challenge.

Share your Joy!

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. —Dali Lama XIV

 

 

 

December 5, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on The Essential Nature of Happiness

The Essential Nature of Happiness

The Essential Nature of Happiness

With the approaching Christmas holiday and the inherent stress of gift giving, I thought it timely to reflect upon and write about the essential nature of happiness.

It is my belief that happiness is the best gift we could possibly give to ourselves, to others and to the world at large. It is my belief also that we are the only ones who can create deep and lasting happiness within ourselves.

First, let me define happiness as I view it and as I relate to it in this column:

Happiness is – the deep fulfillment and satisfaction of life and the joy of actually being alive. It is living with purpose and direction. It is having meaning in your actions while finding joy in everyday simplicity. Happiness is understanding your inherent value as a person, knowing your core values with which you operate, and living in alignment with both.

Happiness is – knowing what is important to us and what is not. It’s knowing how we wish to spend our time and how we do not. It’s knowing who we wish to spend our precious time with and who we do not.

Happiness is – waking up in the morning knowing we are on the road to becoming the best person we can imagine ourselves to be, even though, we might not be there just yet.

Happiness is –  finding yourself deeply immersed in creativity, something that takes you outside of yourself and beyond yourself into a world where space and time doesn’t exist. Creative outlets include the obvious ones: art, writing, dance, music and design. And some not so obvious ones like gardening, business, cooking and almost any endeavor where your  imagination takes precedence over your critical mind.

Happiness is – overcoming difficult situations and people and watching ourselves’ grow and evolve as conscious beings.

Happiness is – learning forgiveness, acceptance and sometimes (hopefully more often then not) putting other peoples’ needs before our own.

Happiness is – a practice and something we work to attain yet, it is contained in our true nature. The duality of our natural happiness and the unhappiness created by our complex society is what we have to make peace with.

It is also important to look at the causes of happiness. They are unique and individual to each of us and yet, in many ways they are universal:

Most of us feel happy and deeply satisfied when we have purpose and feel valued for what we bring to any given situation. Most of us also feel happy when we are loved, valued by others, well nourished, safe, and in good health. Usually, deep happiness comes in relationship to others. We need each other to offer balance and perspective to our otherwise egocentric existence. We need each other to help us laugh, create, learn and grow and to help deepen our understanding of compassion, acceptance and forgiveness.

Most of us find our greatest happiness in the giving of ourselves. The people I know who are the most content with their lives (whether or not they have wealth or material goods) are those who have made it a priority to better the lives of others. Those who volunteer, mentor, educate and promote the health and well being of others, in a genuine and often self-sacrificing way, tend to have many more moments of joy then those who don’t.

It’s interesting isn’t it, that we gain the most from something we must give away? This “noble truth” has been circulating the planet for eons.

This Christmas give everyone the greatest gift of all. Take time to reflect on your own personal happiness, what that means to you, and share your happiness with others!

Some questions to get you started are below:

  • What do you feel is your greatest purpose?
  • When do you feel your best?
  • When do you feel most connected and to what?
  • When do you lose yourself in creativity and in what form is that expressed?
  • What quality or skill of yours do you most enjoy sharing with others?
  • What opportunities do you take to give of yourself and how do you feel when you do?
  • When did you last feel that you were on the road to becoming the best person you could imagine yourself to be?
  • When did you lose this feeling and why?
  • How do you spread your happiness?

Of course instead, you could just buy yourself a new pair of Pradas. It certainly would be easier but in the long run, would it be more fulfilling?

Spread Happiness and Good Cheer!

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”   — Albert Schweitzer, Missionary, Theologian, Philosopher, recipient of the Nobel Prize for Peace

 

 

November 7, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Making a Celebration Out of Nothing At All

Making a Celebration Out of Nothing At All

Making a Celebration Out of Nothing At All

This exercise is an invitation to create a celebration out of the smallest little joys. It’s about finding reasons to celebrate that you wouldn’t ordinarily think of, and about taking notice of the simple things that make our lives worth living everyday.

I invite you to break out your silver cheese spreaders, your crystal stemware and for goodness sake, take your finest china out of it’s glassed in prison. Then, dress in your finest refinery for this Very Special, Oh So Rare, Exclusive, Extraordinary Extravaganza of your very first intentional, Non-Occasion Celebration!

Possible things to make a celebration out of are:

  • Your Favorite People
  • Changing of the Seasons
  • A Small but meaningful Personal Accomplishment
  • The Fact you Finally Learned to say “NO”
  • The Full Moon
  • The return of the Starlings
  • The Color Green (or any color)
  • You are Healthy
  • You can Vote
  • You have something called ” A Choice”
  • You are Female! or Male! (and all the reasons you are grateful for that)
  • You went Shopping and Bought Nothing at All!
  • Your new purse really DOES make you look Thin!
  • You Stood Up for something you Believe In
  • You got a Clean Bill of Health
  • You just simply haven’t Laughed in a Long Time and you need a Good one
  • A Clean House
  • You Love your Friends!
  • You Allowed yourself to do Absolutely Nothing today!

Make it Pretty. Make it Special. Make it Your Own!

And learn to enjoy all the simple moments between the big ones, for these are where we spend most of our life.

 

Celebration of Life

 

 

November 6, 2012
by Pam Bell
Comments Off on Celebrations Large and Small – Finding Moments of Joy in our Everyday Life

Celebrations Large and Small – Finding Moments of Joy in our Everyday Life

 Celebrations Large and Small – Finding Moments of Joy in our Everyday Life

Life is a celebration or it’s nothing at all!

Or at least it should be. That is how we should view our time here isn’t it? Not as a duty or an obligation or a curse, but as a wondrous celebration of the opportunity to sense and feel and know on a visceral level, what it is to be alive.

Our lives are full of growth, change and possibility. There are many rich layers of learnings, struggles, wins, losses, joys and hardships. Life can be busy and complex and it’s easy to forget, when trying to get ahead or when trying to find your special place in this world, to stop and take notice of the many reasons we have to celebrate along the way.

Busy people we are indeed! So busy in fact we somehow manage to cram 24 hours of work into ten, eight hours of sleep into six and two weeks of vacation into a three day weekend. We spend way too much time focusing on the future, worrying about fulfilling our commitments or how we’ll appear to others if we don’t, that we misappropriate our priorities and spend valuable energy in places that don’t really matter in the end. And, in all of this running and worrying and trying to get somewhere other than where we are, we forget to celebrate the small but meaningful joys of everyday life.

It is the celebrations of life that weave together this otherwise choppy existence into a beautiful and seamless masterpiece. It’s our celebration’s that remind us of how far we have come and just how dear are the people in our lives. It ‘s our celebrations that invite us to stop and smell the roses, to take notice of the precious moments ticking by so quickly. It’s our commitment to celebration that allows us to steak claim to a joyful life, and to meet this claim with eyes and arms and heart wide open.

There are the obvious holidays and benchmark occasions where celebration comes more easily. With Thanksgiving and Christmas just around the corner the air will soon be filled with priceless moments of shared laughter and good cheer. Even if you’re not a believer in what Christmas has become, it’s still hard to deny the elevated mood and generosity of most people during this time of year. Then there are weddings, birthdays, anniversary’s and even funerals where people join together to celebrate the major turning points in ones life. These are all poignant occasions  that shouldn’t go unrecognized if even quietly, and only by you. These occasions are markers of time, a compass of sorts to keep us on our chartered course and to help us mark season’s of our lives.

But beyond these more obvious benchmark occasions there are so many small things to celebrate as well. There are the seasons – the comings and goings of color, light, warmth and fine feathered friends. There are the small accomplishments that we share with only a few friends – the completion of a painting, a poem or an important project at work. There are the many magical moments that keep us in awe – a cactus flower, the first tender pea shoots of spring or the fact that we finally understand the relationship between what we eat and how it is grown!

There is our favorite cup of tea, drunk while sitting on the floor in the one sunny corner of the room in the dead of winter, on what started out as a very cold and soggy day. There is the tilting of the head and inquisitive look on the face of the new puppy you just got when what you really went shopping for was a kitten. There is hot bowls of soup and crusty breads and oven dried prunes from the plums you picked only yesterday.

There are the things you’ve managed to overcome that only a few years ago had you in despair. There is the laughter at yourself for walking into the room with something really important to say only to realize you’ve forgotten what it was. There is laughter!  And there are tears, for the people  we love and for those who have come and gone.

There are so many small reasons to celebrate I can’t help but wonder why we’re not doing it more? Why are we not having these conversations with each other? And why are we not asking this of ourselves?

What is there to celebrate today? What small accomplishment can I take notice of? What simple wonder can I stop and let myself enjoy?

I am of the opinion that life is more of a celebration then it is not. It is my practice to make it so. It is where I choose to put time, my attention and my energy…….in the making of celebrations large and small.

I invite you to do the same!

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”

—–Oprah Winfrey